Y5 boy, middle ability, no specific behavioural disorder but generally a bit immature and self-centred. Not in need of 1-1 but often in my groups for various things. Can be lazy and mildly disruptive, also often brings disputes from the playground into lessons and can't settle if he feels hard done by.

The main problem from my POV is that I can influence his mood so much. Any praise or attention from me brings out a huge, radiant smile and a genuine effort for the rest of the session - or until something else goes wrong. However, as soon as I have to tell him off for the slightest thing I get the sulky face, head on the table, no effort and aggressive behaviour towards the rest of the group too. Obviously it makes the session more enjoyable for all concerned if I can keep him in happy mode, but it wouldn't be fair to cut him more slack than the others. The class teacher just completely ignores him when he plays up - and I suspect she'll start to think I'm too soft or gullible if I don't do the same, but at the same time, this child is a joy to work with if he can be kept onside - and I'm sure he learns more.

Any thoughts?

praise the positive and try to ignore the negative but with a positive comment...such as...you were doing really well unitl...how can you get back on track, making him responsible as well...also to get him to help others who are struggling?

Sounds like he has a low self esteem.Ditto DQ. I like it more when you.............

I agree with DQ....I have a similar child I sometimes work with. I find if I talk "street" he works and focuses...eg...to young age..."that's wicked....blah blah...ace...etc...go to their language for praise

That was my thought, low self esteem. So I agree work on the praise and good luck

good advice, i work with a child who sounds very much like yours. He really only behaves or works sucessfully for those he feels he has bonded with. we had problems with him working very hard for me, but in the class for the teacher was disruptive and used various delay tactics when approaching work.[ it was like we saw two different children]
we tried various approaches, but in the end we used the fact that he woked hard for me as a strategy. i had a chat with him, keeping it positive, how i know how he could work hard when out of class, so how pleased i would be if i saw that in class. as a reward he is allowed to share a piece of work he is proud of with me.
so i would agree with the others, keep things positive and although it may seem unorthodox use his good relationship with you to get the required behaviours.

Thanks, folks! I really like some of your suggestions.

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you were doing really well unitl...how can you get back on track, making him responsible as well...also to get him to help others who are struggling?

That might just be gentle enough for the child in question - at the slightest hint of anything that sounds like a reprimand, I've lost him, but your way is more like a suggestion for how he can do even better, and I can see him responding well to that.

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we used the fact that he woked hard for me as a strategy [...]although it may seem unorthodox use his good relationship with you to get the required behaviours

Thank you - that was what I instinctively wanted to do, but was a bit scared of how it would go down. Anyway my teacher has just told me (in a different context) that she'd be happy for me to try out new ideas of my own without needing "permission", so I think I'll just stick with what I think works for him (basically what you're suggesting) unless I'm told otherwise!

midlandfox go for it, I am glad you have your teachers backing. It is often the case that a TA knows the child better than the teacher

Good luck and keep us posted about what happens, the child obviously likes you so you should be able to help in many different ways

hope it works well as veggie said keep us posted.