This is long!!!

Bit of background.

I'm working in a nursery class, and in the class are twin boys, ill call then A and B. The boys are EAL children, but understand english, and we also have staff speaking their home language avaliable. We also suspect there may be some home stuff going on
The boys both have some behaviour difficulties, B more so than A, but there are some common factors. They are both completely self motivated, and often appear to be "on their own agenda". Their social skills can be limited, and both boys find situations such as sharing, group work and any activity where there are clear behaviour expectations e.g. hall time difficult. Both boys are accomplished escapologists, and can easily hop a 5 foot fence. I cant do this nearly as fast though!!!!!!!
The agreed policy in the nursery to deal with behavioural issues is time out, and discussion with parents, and stickers/praise/charts/"special helper" for positive re-inforcement

A is a delightful, happy, and enthusiastic boy, and really takes pride in his work efforts, but A's behaviour can be very provocative at times, and he enjoys and will often seek out confrontations with staff, and children. Physcally he is a very large built and strong child, and a lot of the children in the class are terrified of him. A seems completely unfazed by the prospect of time out, or having a chat with parents. Stickers have no effect on him either. A will occasionally respond to positive praise, but the effects dont last long. The only thing that does motivate A is food, especially sweet food (but we very rarely use this as a behaviour modification tool)

B is also a lovely childm and really enjoys 1-1 work with adults. He loves his stories, and will often sit down and choose to read a story to either an adult or a group of teddies. he has a lovely imagination as well, and often uses this. B's behaviour is a lot less provocative, however, it is a lot more agressive thn his brother's. If B has a problem with someone or something then he uses either his fists or screaming extememely loudly to sort the issue out. B is completely unfazed by anything e.g. time out, talking to parents, food, stickers, praise or star charts. B has taken a particular dislike to a member of staff and a few group of hildren, and will target these persons. It is clear to see that B is struggling with the school environment, and his behaviour steadliy becomes worse throughout the day, when it usually ends up leading to a "meltdown" around an hour before it is home time. He ends up burning himself out, and frequently falls asleep afterwards.

We ave agreed with the boys parents that for the time being, the boys should revert to part time hours again, as it is clear they are just not cpoing with full time, and we also have to think about the safety and security of the other children, especially when they have jumped the fences again, or hurt another child/member of staff.
Does anyone have any idea of any strategies/tips/anything! that we could use to help these boys? And thanks for reading this.

OWUP

Hi OWUP,

A bit personal, but how long have the family been in the UK, and what are their status?

ie are they refugees who have come to the UK because of attrocities in their home nation? I have not worked with these type of children but have observed children who have (as a parent) and a lot of what you describe describes these children. If this is the case perhaps the school can ensure they are getting the proper help and support in coping with the changes.

Personally I am a firm believer that children need clearly defined borders which are enforced consistantly, firmly and with compassion. They will of course push these barriers but once established they are able to feel secure enough to develop and grow. Nicely said, but apply this to SEBD children can be very difficult and other then applying these principles I don't have any suggestions. Consistancy is a key element and I do think this needs to be at home as well as in school.

I'm sure others here will have strategies they can suggest.

Hello

A and B's family is a refugee family coming from a war torn country, but A and B were born in the UK.

Hope this helps


OWUP

Hi OWUP,

I realy don't know a lot about this.

At least the children did not see things first hand.

Going out on a limb... As refugees tend to stay within their own communities, especially in the first generation I would assume you have a local community in the area coming from the same country? Have the family integrated within this local community?

Often in situations like this you will have people working with them, trained to help them and understand what they would have been through. The school may want to chat with such a local organisation. It may well be they will have some insights which you might find useful. If the parents have not had help and support it might also help in flagging them up.

Sorry, but I noted your comment about thinking there is some 'home stuff' going on. I would be surprised if there wasn't. While the school must be concerned with the twins behaviour, if the parents have not been supported then helping them to get help and support may help them.

The other thing I thought of is do the boys 'feed' off each other? IE one starts 'trouble' and the other backs his twin up? Or look to each other for support, and this in turn is reinforcing their behaviour? I'm just wondering if splitting them up is feasible? Although it is unlikely to have short term benefit and could be upsetting long term it might help one or both of them. If that doesn't get more ideas, even if it is tell me I'm out of my mind not sure what will

At least you are able to seperate their behaviour from who they are, most people I know would just see the bad behaviour.

Good luck

any other siblings or close family who may have an influence on the boys? they may be seeing behaviour from older children affected by experiences. Also what is the boys status within the family..do they rule the roost at home, can they do no wrong as viewed by doting parents who may have lost other children etc

what is the family structure within the home...just the parents and children or extended family...are they in a house of their own or a hostel where other factors will influence them

a lot of people from war torn countries who live over here will be in shock and suffer from severe depression which may be a factor on the parents ability to deal with any day to day issues and to immerse themselves into their new lives. maybe it is the family that need help to set boundaries and rules that will then filter down onto the boys being more settled and their behaviour will improve

can you contact a link person at the LEA for advice?