Hollyw.. I am so pleased you saw the positives in your dads illness. Such a cruel one

Thank you everyone, I am not looking for sympathy, but until you experience it, as Catbells, and others will know.

But the hugs mean a lot, so thanks guys.

just phoned my friend up - its her birthday today. Though she doesnt know it. told me her address and then said 'no that's not my age is it'

another sad conversation.

i phone because i want contact with her and because i want to know how she is...but the latter is often lost. and because if she is having a good day - or a good moment that she will know that her friend Catbells phoned. that she hasnt been forgotten.

seeing her next Saturday. going over for her party which is being organised by her son and some of her friends. taking a photo of us all so that someone can make a memory book. A lovely idea.

just very sad. no warning that suddenly she would lose the person she is. and today she just wasnt really there.

x

im sure in her good moments she does remember you though Catbells and that makes it worthwhile

i love the idea of a memory book too

i hope she enjoys her birthday party next week

definitely the memory book, it'll be there for her good moments

Have you got photos of years ago? She is more likely to respond to those than more recent ones. Maybe when you were all doing something together.

Dad could remember people from years ago even if he couldn't place them in the here and now and sometimes an old photo would trigger something. Keep going catbells you don't know how much she is processing. This is such a distressing condition.

She's fast losing the plot.

wandering around the village in the middle of the night. she goes to a day centre twice a week - and thinks she's on the staff.

. i like talking to her because i've known her for years. She was there for me when my mum died. Because praps my voice is still familiar. Because i love her.

Her children are hoping to move her into a home. It is becoming increasingly clear that she can no longer stay in her own home.

Hoping to see her and her daughter over from the States on a visit when school finishes.

i ache for her son and daughter and the loss of this loving, vibrant, creative person that she was. The person i knew and loved has all but gone.

x

Sorry to hear what you are going through with your friend. It is a cruel disease, my grandmother had it and though she remembered me even though I hadnt seen her in a while as we lived away from her she kept repeating herself and conversation difficult. MyMother-in -law has it and we have no conversation as she cant/ doesnt want to converse. that is hard going so make the most of being there for her.Its not easy. Take care.

Nothing I can add will make it any easier so just sending hugs.

Same here sweetie you have been through so much heartache lately I am so sorry

I think in writing what i have i just wanted to find the space to say how it is. I know i have to make the most of the time left. i know i shall find a way... i know i love her regardless of how she is. Hard though that is sometimes when she is very confused and a stranger almost. just doesnt take away the huge sense of loss. Having lost my own mother a long time ago - 27 yrs ago next month i know that this time is precious. i just needed to express the sorrow that i feel.

New losses trigger old ones dont they and this certainly has. and in part i'm probably still grieving the loss of my mum. which maybe sounds odd given how long ago it all was but at 21 i was just a young adult and finding my way in the world. There wasnt time and it wasnt the right time or place to face all that loss. so i stuffed it deep inside.

Grief not grieved doesnt go away.

Complex stuff.

your hugs and care mean alot right now.

Catbells x

Any time you want support just shout. I know from bitter experience how awful this condition can be. You lose your loved one while they are still living. You need all the support you can get. Try to remember the good times - not easy when that person is slowly slipping away.

Grief is such a strange and powerful emotion. It catches you when you least expect it and often very suddenly.

I just wish I could offer more than moral support and cyber hugs.

Take care, Catbells.

I have plenty of these to give. Take care.

and one other thing - grief comes and goes. sometimes i am more able to deal with it all than at others.

hence sometimes the need for hugs lessens as i draw on my own strength.

sometimes i just feel totally overwhelmed by it all.



Catbells x