...just been speaking to a good friend of ours. the mother of one of my school friends who has down the years been a kind of surrogate mother.

She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's just b4 Christmas. i knew something was dreadfully amiss in my weekly conversations with her. She'd veer off in mid conversation talking a load of complete twaddle. We saw here at Christmas when i had a conversation with her about a non existent Christmas tree in her living room! My teenage son was brill at not dissolving into giggles! and my husband and i just didnt make eye contact!

I spoke with her again today. and really the relationship we had has gone. She remembers who i am but the conversation is about God knows what! anything between her childhood and now!

She seems 'happy' though i'm not sure she is. almost completely in a world of her own.

i miss her and the relationship we once enjoyed. In many ways its gone.

i ache for her 2 children and the fairly sudden 'loss' of their mother.

glad though that i was able to speak to her today - it would appear no-one else has.

x

thats so sad Catbells, sometimes she may have times when she does remember who you are and the past, but im sure she still appreciates being able to have a conversation even if it is about nothing particular or relevant

it may be something her own children cant manage to do or deal with at the moment, so its good that you are there for her

a terrible disease catbells, my husbands grandmother had it, everytime we visited she thought he was her first husband and a close friend lost her father to it a couple of months ago.
please try and remember your friend how she was not what the disease has done to her.
thinking of you
...j...

It is such a cruel fate catbells, the person appears in good health and may not seem troubled but they are living a different life. I remember conversations with my gran years ago. I think she knew who I was, she certainly knew I was there and engaging conversation with her, but she was 50years previous. Talking of friends she had and when she was 'courting' my grandad. Too sad.........

It is a cruel disease and I wish there was more I could say catbells. Thinking of you all. X

It' s a terrible illness, I dread anyone in my family having it as I know several of my mum's friends have it and she talks about how much the loved ones suffer.

My thoughts are with you catbells, by brother-in-law has it and he's only in his 50s, I've not seen him for a while as they live over in Yorkshire, but hubby saw him just before Xmas and commented how much he'd deteriorated in a short space of time We'll all be together in a few weeks for mother-in-law's 80th birthday so will see for myself just how bad he has got a very cruel disease indeed

That's young. i'm sorry Shirazee.

I guess i'm beginning to mourn the loss of her. Of all that she was. The loss of that friendship which we shared. A tough one. I know she hasnt died. but the person i knew has all but gone. i cant have a sensible conversation with her anymore. 'easier' i guess when we see her for real. hoping to call in on her when we are over there in a fortnight or so. easier for her too maybe if she can see who she is talking too. or maybe it wont be if she cant place me.

its good that i can phone her up and brighten up her day. and i can and do send her the odd card.

just a sad way for her to spend her twilight years...and for her children esp.

x

Its an awful illness. My OH gran had it and it was horrible seeing the deterioration. My friends mum has pix (not sure that the correct spelling) disease - this is the 'young' persons version of it, she got it in her late 40's, my friend was in her early 20's at the time, she has been in a nursing home for years, didn't see any of her children marry and altho she sees her grandchildren doesn't know they are her's. Its heartbreaking.

Its great you are keeing regular contact with your friend, as it can been very emotionally draining (we would often leave gran close to tears - mourning the loss of the person she was), but your friend will really appreciate your friendship.

Dot
xxx

I am in a similar situation to you catbells. We have a very good friend who although doesnt have altzeimers, but had a severe stroke one day in August and has no mental capacity at all not. All gone in a split second. No deteriotation at all. He has not family, just us, we visit him and he recognises us sometimes, but not on other visits. We are trying to do the best for him, but the Court of Protection are dragging their feet. He now has court-threatening letters for his bills, he would be horrified, he has never owed a penny. I have kept these people informed from day one and it was ok, but the system dictates these letters and no one will stop them. It is heartbreaking.

Dot
xxx

Going over to see E this weekend.

She has begun using patches which it seems are helping. I know this bit of information because one of her carers phoned me the other day. E had been telling this person about me and my family but could not remember my name. So this carer 'dialled' 1471 and obtained my number. She apologised for doing so but i'm gld she did because it gave me a chance to find out more about E and how she really is. And someone praps who in the future will be there for me and i her...she has known E for 3 years and me - 33 years. but a different relationship.

mixed feelings about seeing E again. not sure how she will be, but wanting to spend time with her before this disease completely takes away the person i love. Aware that already i am mourning the person she was. She sometimes is still that person...but mixed in with that is all the other stuff when it's more than clear that she isn't always 'here'.

going to be a tough weekend...

Catbells x

its good that you have someone who can tell you about what is going on with her Catbells, and im sure the visit will be good for you, to let you know how she is, and to let her see you. Like you say she may be having a good or bad day and you will have to take it as it comes. It will be tough but probably i feel it is something you feel you have to and want to do.