Was reading an article last week about this subject. It could have been written about my OH.

And that is huge...

He has always had problems with communicating and his social skills are not good...

still assimilating this info and need to read around the subject.

It kind of takes the pressure away - i know now that he is the way he is because of something beyond his control.

40 years ago and autism wasnt yet 'born' was it.

I ache for him and if i'm honest i ache for me too...

because things are never going to get better between us. and how on earth could i ever tell him what i have discovered?

the answer is - i dont think i can.

It explains an awful lot. I feel angry too on his behalf.

can anyone recommend any good books on this subject please?

Catbells x

i dont know of any books, although i do work with older students with aspergers, maybe have a look at the NAS site as they may have some suggestions of books there

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Firstly, several people on an ASD message board have commented that a lot of the issues in that article could just be put down to him being a man, and you can't blame everything on AS! AS is however sometimes described as a extreme of maleness.

If after reading some more, you think he may have AS, then there are books like "An Aspergers Marriage" which perhaps you could say a friend found interesting and gave you to read, and it's strange but a lot of it sounds like us. Leave it lying around, and maybe he will read it.

Someone I know did it that way.

Often the person knows there is something different about them, and may be happy to know there is a reason and books he can read to help him improve some of those skills he finds difficult. There is no need to go for a diagnosis - just use the strategies if they help.

It may be sufficient that as you understand him better, you can learn to deal with him in a better way, eg: it is no good dropping subtle hints - if you want some flowers - you need to tell him that!

There are various tests on

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thank you DQ and Kaz

i'm not usually a person for 'answers' - but this article kind of gives me them - or some of them! - certainly explains why he may be the way he is.

shall look at these sites.

Catbells x

been a tough few days.

contacted the NAS and they're going to send some info.

joined a forum for AS.

have wept and read and still a feel all sorts of things. i know...a process. i need time to assimilate all of this b4 i even begin to decide how to move on to the next bit if i do decide to talk - try to talk to my OH.

i know it isnt life threatening. and he is still the same person i married. it explains alot. i feel my awareness growing already.

i also feel alone with it and i know that with time and talking and sharing with those who i trust i will begin to accept what is...

just a shock. and it takes time for our bodies and minds to catch up.

x

Do you have an understanding GP catbells who could give you some time?