I'm a 1-1 working with a 4 year old sn child in a nursery class. The child I care for has significant developmental delay, and functions at around 18-24 months of age. To an outside observer, a lot of her behaviours seem 'babyish' (exactly the kind of stuff you would expect from a toddler)
I try to treat this child in an age appropriate manner, my view is that she is 4 yeard ols, so should be treated like a 4 year old, and in exactly the same manner as the other children in the class.
However, the other staff in the class tend to treat this child like a baby, one member of staff more so than the other. Things like talking to the child in a high pitched squealing voice, patronising the child, treating the child in a completely different maner to the others, and the one that particulary grates on me; sitting the child on her lap, tickling her, and playing the sort of games like you would wth a baby, especially when the child is outside. There is an element of the child requesting this kind of activity, but if she is redirected towards another activity, then she is happy to play
The other children in the class have picked up on this, and tend to mirror the adults behaviour towards the child (squealing in her face, trying to tickle her, and calling her a baby, and ignoring the childs requests to be left alone)
I have already tried approaching the class teacher about this, on more than one occasion, but it seems like any effect is short lived. Ideally I'd like to talk to the nursery nurse myself, but tact isnt one of my finer points.
Does anyone have any tips on how I can approach the nursery nurse myself, and ideas about what to say?

TIA
OW&UP


I apologise in advance for any dodgy paragraphing e.t.c, I'm writing this on a laptop with a broken touchpad

Can you ask the teacher if you can all sit down and discuss Child A's progress and strategies to help her.If she is SEN then what about looking at her IEP together.Whilst I agree with you that she shouldn't be babied I feel that you can't expect her to function as a four year old either.Children of this age with developmental delay really need to go through these stages of development.It would be helpful if everyone sang from the same hymn sheet and guided her through these stages hopefully a little quicker than natural development but it may not happen.Lots of praise to other children may make her want to copy and reaching birthday milestones can be a way of saying'Now you are a big girl you can....' We have some children who in Yr 1 were functioning at 18mths olds we are getting there now they are in Year 2 but it is taking a lot of time and patience.

difficult one as people do tend to react to the way a child reacts

have the parents been consulted, if she has a statement then they would be involved in a review, i think acting in an appropriate 'age' towards her though especially from her peers and teachers will help her to become more independent

I'm afraid I'm a firm believer in stage versus age appropriteness (is that a proper word)

If the child is functioning at the same stage as a toddler she will not be able to interact age appropriately therefore needs stage appropriate activities. as jack said there are things she needs to be able to do and stages she needs to go through before she can develop, by trying to miss these stages out just because she is older will only hold her back further.

I'm not saying that its appropriate to sit her on her lap and tickle her in a mainstream school but this would be acceptable in a nursery with a toddler and this is the stage she is at.

Expectaions can be difficult with a child with developmental delay (my niece is now 18 and still functioning in a lot of areas at a 5/6 year old level) you have to make a judgement call on what to expect, if your expectations are too low the child wont develop but too high and they will fail to reach them.

but this is the same as any child, you wouldn't put a six year old in a Y5 class and expect them to do the same activities as the other children and there is little difference with a child with a developmental delay.

I agree with you summertime. Sometimes you definately have to treat the child in a way that they would understand, although really not sure about tickling...that would be more a thing a parent would do.

I don't think treating her the same way as a 4 yr old is right, because although she may look 4 she hasn't developed mentally as a 4 yr old.

hard one though, you need to find a happy medium.

I would approach the SENCO first with your concerns and let her/him be the judge of how best to approach the other staff members.

Bit of a mixed bag. I agree with Summertime 100% in that if you expect the same standards from her as you would another four year old then you are setting her up to fail.

However I hate the way people raise their voices to speak to young children. I don't do it, and had no problem telling others not to do so to my daughter. I would also be very concerned the other children are picking up on this behaviour and reffering to her as a 'baby'.

What ever the development age/issue she is an individual and should be treated with respect, and respectfully. It is not acceptable for the children to be treating her in this manner, or for them to be learning it from a member of staff. She is not a doll or 'plaything' and in my opinion should not be treated as such, especially by her peers.

The advice you have been given seems good, speak to the senco or head teacher - or possibly both.