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catbells Forum Supporter


Joined: 28 Dec 2005 Posts: 4363 Location: South Yorkshire
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Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 4:37 pm Post subject: Mother Loss... |
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...just feel completely out of sorts today. taken a while to work out why which sounds a bit daft really.
i find July a difficult month. 27 yrs next Sunday since mum died.
most of the time i get on with it. sometimes it just gets the better of me.
i ache for all that we both missed out on.
i'll be ok. this will lift and pass...until the next time that is.
some of you wont understand what i'm saying and some of you will understand all too well.
Mother loss - never quite goes away does it?
Catbells x _________________ We have nothing to fear in failure; to fail we must have been brave enough to try. |
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hollyw Top poster


Joined: 18 Oct 2007 Posts: 1505
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Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 5:17 pm Post subject: |
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Know how you feel Catbells. My mum would have been 82 yesterday. She died 8 years ago and I think each year the pain has got worse on those special days. Sometimes I just feel down, then I remember the date so it is deeper than the memory. I didn't even get on with mine so if you were close it must be a lot worse even after all this time.
 to you and everyone else feeling the loss at the moment. |
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trueblue Moderator


Joined: 30 Oct 2005 Posts: 27331 Location: IN THE CLOUDS
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Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 5:57 pm Post subject: |
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catbells Forum Supporter


Joined: 28 Dec 2005 Posts: 4363 Location: South Yorkshire
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Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 5:59 pm Post subject: |
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| hollyw wrote: | I didn't even get on with mine so if you were close it must be a lot worse even after all this time.
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((((((((((((hollyw)))))))))))))))
Oh I'm sorry hollyw. anniversaries can be so hard.
the ironic thing is that neither did i. there lies another tale...
but i still miss this mother figure and the things that some of my friends who still have mothers do with them. so when ppl comment that 'mum is coming over or the children are going there, or mum made this, that or something else.' i still find that hard. i'm envious if you like for somethng i've nevr known but still ache for.
and all the opportunities for things ever to be different, or better...died with her.
its a tough one which never goes away. i wish that it could... working with it all in therapy.
thank you for your hugs and your care.
Catbells x _________________ We have nothing to fear in failure; to fail we must have been brave enough to try. |
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summertime Site Admin


Joined: 29 Oct 2005 Posts: 21034 Location: in a state of confusion
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Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 6:02 pm Post subject: |
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_________________
Be kinder than necessary cus everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle |
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Teebee Top poster


Joined: 16 Jan 2008 Posts: 3858 Location: on the sunny south coast
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Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 6:35 pm Post subject: |
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 to the both of you
it is hard I lost my grandad (I know its not the same but I was very close to him and it was so out of the blue) 3 years ago it was a few days before my birthday so I feel it hard to enjoy my birthdays, I find its the little things like cards at xmas and bdys etc... things u take for granted I supose.
it must be worse for you both not beening that close either, but keep ur chins up and rem the happy times (im sure there are some  )
x _________________ A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks
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catbells Forum Supporter


Joined: 28 Dec 2005 Posts: 4363 Location: South Yorkshire
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Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 6:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Teebee wrote: | to the both of you
it is hard I lost my grandad (I know its not the same but I was very close to him and it was so out of the blue) 3 years ago it was a few days before my birthday so I feel it hard to enjoy my birthdays, I find its the little things like cards at xmas and bdys etc... things u take for granted I supose.
it must be worse for you both not beening that close either, but keep ur chins up and rem the happy times (im sure there are some )
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((((((((((((hugs to you too Teebee))))))))))))))))))
i find that hard when ppl say that. 'remember the happy times'. that's darned hard to do because it kind of brushes away how i feel.
Death is death and loss is loss and you cannot compare. You losing your grandad was hard. a different relationship - sounds like a very special relationship and something you can treasure now. but birthdays remain difficult days for you. poignant maybe also...
...like today is for me and probably parts of this week will be also. or maybe not. grief and loss are fickle. In between times i can sometimes recall some good memories to cherish - today isnt one of them though.
x _________________ We have nothing to fear in failure; to fail we must have been brave enough to try. |
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dancingqueen Moderator


Joined: 30 Oct 2005 Posts: 45317
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tiggersmum Forum Supporter


Joined: 16 Oct 2006 Posts: 1051 Location: over here, no left a bit, yes here
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Teebee Top poster


Joined: 16 Jan 2008 Posts: 3858 Location: on the sunny south coast
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Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:17 pm Post subject: |
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| catbells wrote: |
((((((((((((hugs to you too Teebee))))))))))))))))))
i find that hard when ppl say that. 'remember the happy times'. that's darned hard to do because it kind of brushes away how i feel.
Death is death and loss is loss and you cannot compare. You losing your grandad was hard. a different relationship - sounds like a very special relationship and something you can treasure now. but birthdays remain difficult days for you. poignant maybe also...
...like today is for me and probably parts of this week will be also. or maybe not. grief and loss are fickle. In between times i can sometimes recall some good memories to cherish - today isnt one of them though.
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Thank you catbells,DQ and tiggersmum for the hugs very sweet of you all,
it is hard esp as this month would have been his bdy but the worse thing is I know he wouldnt want me to be all sad and upset which I have to keep telling myself that, we were very close, I think it was because I was his first grandad child and it was like a second chance for him as my mum and him had a very different relationship one that sounds like you and your mum had so I can kinda relate, but towards the end when he got ill, they made it up and I think thats why it hurts my mum more in a way even now 3 yrs on she still finds it hard cant talk about it otherwise it sets her off. (also alot of crap went on after with my grandads wife not very nice to us etc..)
Im sending you a HUGE hug catsbell and I hope this week is a good one for you
xx _________________ A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks
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Lucybelle Forum Supporter


Joined: 01 Oct 2006 Posts: 349 Location: Not quite sure!
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Posted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 6:45 am Post subject: |
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_________________ Lucybelle |
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Jack-of-all-Trades prefect


Joined: 19 Mar 2006 Posts: 9836 Location: england
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catbells Forum Supporter


Joined: 28 Dec 2005 Posts: 4363 Location: South Yorkshire
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Posted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 1:15 pm Post subject: |
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Do you get to talk to her regularly Jack? and/or writing to one another. that must be disappointing for you if you dont think you will be able to go and see her this year. Does she come over and see you at all?
i think ppl sometimes forget the isignificance of having an older generation there for our children. They can learn so much from one another as well as the precious times that can be shared.
x _________________ We have nothing to fear in failure; to fail we must have been brave enough to try. |
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whosrose Competition Guru


Joined: 31 Oct 2005 Posts: 11128 Location: I wish I knew....
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Posted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 2:10 pm Post subject: |
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My heart goes out to you all. I'm very lucky not to have lost my parents. We haven't had the best of relationships but I do try to make the effort for the sake of my children, as they adore them.
The loss of my nan remains a very poignant memory...even though it was nearly 16 years ago.
From my early 20s she was forever hopeful for a grandchild and would frequently make comments to that effect. When I fell pregnant she was over the moon. However when my son was born, after having contacted both sets of parents, I attempted to phone her....again and again I tried....to break the news. I even asked my mum NOT to tell her as I wanted to be the bearer of the good news. The following day she was found dead....... a heart attack.....and she never got to hear about her grandson let alone meet him  It upsets me to think of the pain she was going through, as I was experiencing the most joyous moment of my life to date. _________________ “Do not watch the petals fall from the rose with sadness, know that,
like life, things sometimes must fade, before they can bloom again.” |
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catbells Forum Supporter


Joined: 28 Dec 2005 Posts: 4363 Location: South Yorkshire
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Posted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 3:19 pm Post subject: |
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(((((((((((Whosrose))))))))))))))
that's a poignant memory.
Catbells x _________________ We have nothing to fear in failure; to fail we must have been brave enough to try. |
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