Hi there, I just wondered if any of you have ever had to work with a pupil with who you've had previous problems with their parents.

I'm due to start a new job in September and, as soon as it was offered to me, I found out that I was going to be asked to do supervisor cover that would include a child who had been at the school my children attend. A nasty bullying situatiion had cropped up and, altho when the child left they were behaving much better towards my child, the mother had already caused us some VERY nasty problems where we live. False accusations of all sorts were made to the point we had difficulties with our housing association receiving complaints about "our anti-social" behaviour (ref arguments in the street) and even calls to the police. I fell out with many neighbours and nothing has been the same since. I got over it, held my head up high and pushed myself to become a TA and take an OU course to improve MY life.

As I said I was offered a new position but as soon as I discovered this child had moved to the school I'd be going to I felt it only best to let the headteacher know what had happened. I'm really worried that I've affected their opinion of me at the school. It was made clear that it would be difficult as they would now need to rearrange the way my job would fit around NOT teaching this child. I was even worried that my job offer might be taken back. I voiced my concern that the child's mother may not want me to be near her child but added that I wouldn't have a problem with it.

This may all sound a bit "waffly" but I'm not used to posting and I'm desperate not to identify anyone in this post. I'd just appreciate some advice. Has anyone else ever had a similar thing happen to them? Do you think I need to watch my back? Is it a case of just suck it and see? Should I be in a union just to be sure I'm covered if there is any backlash or further false accusations made by her? Sorry but instead of being excited about a new job with better prospects I'm actually feeling really anxious.

it was good to voice your concerns and the staff should be pleased that you did before anything happened, as long as you are professional then im sure you will be fine

look forward to the job, this is only going to be one minor problem in your week, and may not be a problem at all

defintitely join a union, find out which one the other TAs are in, preferably before you start, and well done to you for getting on with what you want and getting that job

make sure their opinion of you is of a good team worker and a professional TA which im sure it will be, enjoy the job

Ta so much for the advice. I was beginning to go stir crazy over the last week with worrying about it. I AM aiming to prove my work can speak for itself - just a bit concerned that I might be on an uphill struggle before I even got started!

Sorry to be a pain but which of the unions wud you recommend. At my previous job I never even gave it a thought.
Cheers

It's always a good idea to be in a union when working with children or other vulnerable social groups. So many things can come up, although rarely, it's good to know you have someone with you.

I'm in Unison, others are in other unions, as said in another post it may be good if you can find out what union(s) other TAs at your school are in - makes it easier if there is industrial action if you're all on strike!

When I started in this job on my first when I arrived was taken aside by the head and told she had had a complaint about me! I was friendly with the sister of the mother of the child I would be 1-1 with and she had complained that I would tell the sister what was happening in the school and gossip about her daughter. I'd never even met the woman! I had to sign a confidentiality agreement before I was allowed to meet the child! Never felt so insulted in my life. However, once the head got to know me we got on really well and I've had a great working relationship with other staff in both the schools I worked in with this child. Just finished working with her after 8 years and her mother and I can hold a conversation now - but the nit-picking and complaining she could do! The moral of this diatribe is, head up, be professional, treat the child as you would any other and let the head deal with the parent!

I agree with jaydee, its always a good idea to be in a union when you are a TA. ou never know what might happen and as there is history you should do it ASAP.

Myself and other TAs in our school are in unison, this is because at the time there weren't any others suitable.
Put it into your search engine and do it before you go back.

Good luck by the way and I'm sure the head will know how to handle this mother
x

Thank you so much for the replies - it's boosted my confidence a bit. I'm now heading off to the Unison site to sign up!

By the way - I think this site is much better than TES (no offence regular Tessers) but I've come across so much negativity on that one but as yet NONE of that on here - far more support instead of the back biting that seems to go on TES.

Thanks for the nice comment MacD666.

We do have, on the very odd occasion (so odd that I can't remember the last time it happened), something said that upsets people but it's very rare and normally because it's very hard to put into text what you're really want to say. That's why we use the emoticons quite a lot. It helps members understand we (all of us) don't mean any critisism.


Let us know how the new job goes and relax for your last two weeks of normallacy.

I speak from experience and may I suggest that should you find yourself in a situation where you are 1 to 1 with this child you relocate to a more public area, move to another classroom that is occupied or get someone to join you. If it hadn't been for a witness I could have been in a very difficult situation with a pupil accusing me of assault.

I now keep a diary and I report back to my teacher of any interaction. This is because I realised what a vunerable position I am in when dealing with some of these young people who may not want to directly have a go at you, but have issues with the school. I have seen other members of staff being accussed incorrectly and the damage that this causes to their self-esteem and confidence.

Some great advice, and I would have done exactly the same as you. I agree with Daisycat; wherever possible ensure that you are not alone with this child, for your own protection. And as advised if you feel it appropriate (or necessary) keep a diary of anything that happens.

Try and put that to the back of your mind and focus on your new job and the exciting opportunities it brings you.

Good luck

Dot
xxx

Congratulations on your new job.

Some good sound advice - thanks for that guys. It helps a lot to know where I can get such support. I've only been in the "trade" since October last year and was worried that I might struggle to move on from a part time level 1 job (even after passing the OU E111 course recently). As I said before the TES site seems so negative about getting into new schools and not being taken for granted etc I WAS beginning to wonder if my change of career late(r) in life was a wrong move but I'm more positive now.